I asked at age 17, after a friend (fellow cult member) died in a car accident our Senior year of high school

I asked at age 19, after a friend/ex-boyfriend completed suicide on what would’ve been our anniversary

I asked in my early 20s, after a former co-worker drugged and raped me

I asked in my late 20s, after a friend sexually assaulted me

I asked in my 30s, after nights of being abused (including rape) by my husband

“There is no god”, I finally answered myself. “You have to save yourself.”

And. I. Did.