I’ve wanted to write for over a week, but my brain was too much…my brain doesn’t stop ever, unless I’m meditating, doing yoga, or smoking weed. All the time that I’m living life, in the back of mind there’s a list constantly running: When is B’s next orthodontist appt? Need to email the school again…
Unrealized Dreams
I’m one who looks for meanings in dreams, or meanings in why I’m having certain dreams. Some dreams are easier than others…if my teeth are falling out in my dream I can trace it to anxiety. If I dream about my late Mom, it’s because I’ve been needing her & needing to feel her presence.…
Sex, Drugs, and Justin Timberlake
“How can you show love, to those past versions of yourself?”, the question my therapist asked me 2 weeks ago. We’d been discussing my feelings of shame towards those younger versions of myself…those versions of myself that partied, had (mostly) safe sex, and even did some recreational drugs (not counting marijuana in that group)…ya know,…
Are you there God…
I asked at age 17, after a friend (fellow cult member) died in a car accident our Senior year of high school I asked at age 19, after a friend/ex-boyfriend completed suicide on what would've been our anniversary I asked in my early 20s, after a former co-worker drugged and raped me I asked in…
Happy New Year (kinda)
This weekend 6 years ago, that’s when I was strong enough to end things with my abuser. Every year this time brings reflection, gratitude, and a some PTSD symptoms….but mostly gratitude. So many women, like Gabby Petito, don’t make it out alive; so I’m incredibly thankful that I did. I’ve been watching Maid (Netflix) this…
Humble Brag
Growing up in the CoC, bragging was not allowed. It was shamed. Anything good that we did was because God decided to bless us; it wasn’t because of our own talent or hard work. Not only did I hear that at church, I heard it in my CoC school, and at home in our family…
Deconstructed Yoga Mom 