I hate asking my family for help, like HATE. I feel like “the baby” of the family who got “everything handed to her”, and (allegedly had it so much easier than my (male) siblings. Yes I realize that’s typical sibling shit to say, but piggybacked on an evangelical upbringing that essentially teaches that men are…
TLDR; Play Time is Vital and We All Deserve It
I took that quote to heart over the past week, and celebrated me, myself, and I for 9 days. I took off work, didn’t schedule any appointments, and made no commitments other than a pool party with friends and our kids. It was amazing. I got my nails and feet pampered, let an amazing massage…
My Tween Thinks I’m Cool
When I was 13/14 and swimsuit shopping with my mom, it was STRESSFUL. Being an evangelical, the restrictions were many and I couldn’t get the latest fashions because they were “immodest”. Yesterday I took B swimsuit shopping and it was FUN, for both of us. We were at Target, and they started talking to an…
Awkward “Newbie” Queer Coming Through
I think I’m done with cis-men…like I’m 95% sure that I don’t want to ever date one again. When I envision my future, I don’t necessarily see a cis-man in it as my partner. (And for the record, sometimes I don’t see a partner in my future.) More often than not, if I’m envisioning a…
Narcissists Gonna Narc…or something like that
It’s Mother’s Day weekend. I *just* made it through a round of layoffs at work. Kids’ mental states & my mental state are pretty stable. Things are okay-ish. The hearing in front of the judge re: the house is in 2 weeks, and I haven’t given into my abuser. So of course he emails me…
Another Depressing Post Because My Life Is A Dumpster Fire Right Now and I’m Barely Coping
*Title in homage to Samantha Irby and her chapter titles (if you read this, I adore you) I’m in the middle of a massive fibromyalgia flare, which isn’t surprising given the amount of stress I’m under. At least I got to enjoy book club and some amazing Indian food before it hit; but let me…
Autism, Borderline Personality, and Generalized Anxiety All Walked Into a Bar
This should be our welcome mat. These past couple of weeks have been interesting (that’s me, reframing so that I’m not once again just complaining in my writings). I’ve come out of a low, and my anxiety has ramped up. 12, autistic, had been having a TOUGH time with emotional regulation, especially in the middle…
A Release
Two years ago, at the beginning of The Pandemic, B was in the midst of an emotional breakdown that led to long term hospitalization. Not only were they being hospitalized, the facility was out of state, and because of COVID no in-person visits were allowed. A total of 7 months of not getting to hug…
Who Are You?
I should watch this again “Who are you?” That’s a question I ask myself quite a bit. Being an only parent means that so much of my identity is based around my kids. But I’m more than that, though I frequently forget it. “Who are you?” What even IS that question? How can it answer…
Missed Opportunity
Bisexual, hetero-romantic. That's the label that I settled on for myself, sometime last year; but then I thought maybe pansexual, heterosexual-romantic was more accurate. When it comes to sexual attraction, I'm all over the place but when it comes to relationships, I've only been with cisgender men. Lately I've wondered if the reason that I…
Deconstructed Yoga Mom 