I’ve been listening to a podcast lately called Something Was Wrong, about recovering from emotional abuse; and the first season’s relationship is so similar to my relationship and marriage. There were so many red flags, and so many times I ignored my intuition; I was codependent, and he made me that way. We met in…
Narcissists Gonna Narc…or something like that
It’s Mother’s Day weekend. I *just* made it through a round of layoffs at work. Kids’ mental states & my mental state are pretty stable. Things are okay-ish. The hearing in front of the judge re: the house is in 2 weeks, and I haven’t given into my abuser. So of course he emails me…
Another Depressing Post Because My Life Is A Dumpster Fire Right Now and I’m Barely Coping
*Title in homage to Samantha Irby and her chapter titles (if you read this, I adore you) I’m in the middle of a massive fibromyalgia flare, which isn’t surprising given the amount of stress I’m under. At least I got to enjoy book club and some amazing Indian food before it hit; but let me…
Trauma, The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Recently I watched Evan Rachel Wood’s documentary titled “Phoenix Rising” on HBOMax, and it wasn’t easy. If you haven’t watched it and won’t find it triggering, I highly recommend watching it because it so clearly explains the grooming process, love bombing, brain washing, and the whole awful cycle. The bravery that it took for her…
Green Flags
Ouch. I saw this on social media today and damn if it didn’t hit home. This is me. 100% I like to pretend that I’m low maintenance but nope, the truth is that I don’t believe that a partner would show up for me. (Especially with all the “no drama please” or “good vibes only”…
A Release
Two years ago, at the beginning of The Pandemic, B was in the midst of an emotional breakdown that led to long term hospitalization. Not only were they being hospitalized, the facility was out of state, and because of COVID no in-person visits were allowed. A total of 7 months of not getting to hug…
Airing of Grievances
I can’t finish renovations on my house, and can’t even hang stuff because some painting needs to be redone. All because my piece of shit, abusive ex-husband is trying to force me to sell. And the magistrate sided WITH HIM (poor disabled Veteran card, I’m sure), so now I have more to pay in attorney…
Who Are You?
I should watch this again “Who are you?” That’s a question I ask myself quite a bit. Being an only parent means that so much of my identity is based around my kids. But I’m more than that, though I frequently forget it. “Who are you?” What even IS that question? How can it answer…
Karen is a fucking liar
Spring 2021-Homeowner’s insurance left the area and I was told I needed new inspections to get a new policy holder. Got inspections, found out I needed a new roof, but I definitely didn’t have the money. Summer 2021-Leak in my crawlspace, led to finding out about a whole slew of damage from long term moisture…
Deconstructed Yoga Mom 